It's About Trust

I'm an introvert, as most of you know. Being sociable is hard for me and takes an enormous amount of effort. Relationships, in general, are work for me. And they're very often a letdown. Allow me to explain...

If I'm going to do something, I'm going to put the appropriate amount of effort into the task. The same goes for relationships. If I'm going to be your friend, I expect you to be my friend. The same effort I put in, I expect to get in return. Reciprocity, if you will.

When Mr. Higgins and I were dating we had a huge bonding moment when we realized that we felt the same way about this. We both felt it came down to trust. I'm going to trust the other person in the relationship to give as much as they get. We will always be 'on the same page', so to speak. It blew my mind that someone else understood this and was often letdown since other people don't function this way.

And so, for me, relationships are very frustrating because I put a lot into them. I have few friends but those I have, I put a great deal of trust in. When someone loses my trust, they lose my friendship....or they become merely an acquaintance - someone who is not worth my effort but whose efforts, when so rarely made, I will reciprocate on a limited basis.

Friendships come into peril when one person cannot find the time, nor do they want to find the time, for the effort it takes to have the friendship. Sometimes, this is done unconsciously when life becomes hectic. But sometimes it's intentional.

Relationships are hard; friendships are hard. When entering into them you agree to put in the effort and, thereby, earn each other's trust. It's a delicate balance. I wish more people would realize this.