A Night Out

I was very uncertain about going to hear Big City Guy's band play on Saturday. It didn't help that the Guy tried to talk me out of going every time he asked me to come. I talked to him Friday night and asked him, directly, whether he wanted me to go and he answered with a simple 'yes.' Now wasn't that better? Fewer words are better sometimes.

So off I went to the big city Saturday night. It was quite an experience, for sure, but, then again, anything in a bar is going to be interesting for me. I don't frequent bars, as if that's a surprise to you! His band was pretty good but I'm withholding full judgment until I hear their CD. He was super cute and he came to hang out with us afterward. There were a lot of people there from his work and someone referred to me as his 'girlfriend' - so he's going to have an interesting Monday. Ha!

He took me and my friend to a jazz bar afterward and it was pretty cool. There were all these couples - most of them older - dancing. He asked me if I'd ever take dance lessons with him; I said 'sure.'

Despite how great it was - and all of it was good outside of the drunk who kept, literally, hanging on my friend and me - there are some serious concerns that I have with BCG. He likes me and I'm pretty sure he wants to keep seeing me - on his terms. This guy is used to being in control and he wants to stay that way. The million dollar question is....can I ever get that ball over into my court?

Book Update

Now that Dostoevsky is over and done with, my friends and I are trying our hand at Wuthering Heights. I remember starting it once before and never finishing it. We'll see. I'm hoping since we're reading it as a group, I'll be more motivated to push on.

The Omnivore's Dilemma is taking a long time to finish. This is super heavy reading and, though extremely interesting, it's not something that I automatically reach for when in the reading mood.

And Reading Like a Writer is such a cool book - and one that I have to be in the mood for, as well. I want to finish this one but it may take a while.

So there you have a quick Friday reading update. Have a great weekend!

Round Two, BCG

The second date with Big City Guy occurred last night. I was more at ease, which was good, but I still had moments of real nervousness.

So, first the good things... He asked me a lot of questions and we had some good conversation. After dinner, we ended up at Borders, drinking coffee (nothing else was open in this town on a Wednesday night, though we tried), and it was really nice. I felt like I was seeing the real Guy underneath all the outgoing-ness. And I really liked what I saw. I've never met a guy who is doing what he loves for all the right reasons; a guy who truly cares about the people he works with and for. It's amazing and utterly refreshing.

All the signs were there that he had a nice time and I felt like we moved forward and broke down a few barriers... Then, it came time to leave. He dropped me off at my car, gave me a hug, thanked me for going out with him, said he'd talk to me soon....and that was it. It was so abrupt that I was thrown completely off balance.

And there's something else... He's the drummer for a local band. Weird, I know, but if you met him, you'd understand. He's invited me to their concert on Saturday four times now, each time saying how horrible the venue will be for their sound. But last night he said it all again, prefacing it with, "I'd love for you to come, but..." I said I'd consider it, especially since there's something I'd like to do on campus in the afternoon. When I said this, giving him an opening for doing something with me on Saturday before his gig, he was silent.

It was like this the first time: all the signs were there but he didn't seal the deal. No future plans made - which is what I prefer to hear. So, I have no idea. The ball seems to be forever in his court and it's frustrating.

Oppression

Yet another couple rounds of emotional battle with my father and I'm wondering just how much, exactly, happiness is worth? Is it worth the money I'm saving by living rent free? No.

I cannot adequately explain how this oppressive atmosphere has wrung me out, emotionally and mentally. The "advice" that comes my way 24/7 that is never asked for and said with hostility....the meals where, if mom or I speak during the news, we're shushed or snapped at...the times I'm told I need a better job, which only means I need more money (but what for?)...the lunches where I try to not open my mouth or show any emotion for fear that it will spark conversation - or more advice...the hostility that a simple question - "what did you do today?" - evokes...the unhappiness...

My father is sick; he is depressed. His way of being useful is to try to "correct" me in any way that he thinks I'm floundering. Never in a hundred million years could I have predicted this when I decided to move home. It was a move made in order to save money, help my mother around the house, help my father recover from the multiple surgeries he had scheduled. It was meant to be a time of healing for me, after bad relationships. It's turned into something else entirely.

I need to get out. I will get out. My sanity demands it.

Matchmaker Woes

Introductory emails are always difficult, especially when there has been no communication via online dating or anything else. I realize this but what I don't understand is how a guy can send an introductory email that basically shoots down any possibility of future dating.

I got such an email from a guy in Houston. Our mothers have been playing matchmaker at work. Here's what his email said...

"Hi Doniamarie:
My mother said you are a nice person that I should meet in East Texas. I'm usually in the area about once a month and like to play golf. I should warn you that I'm not very chatty and am very busy with my peeps in Houston. Here's a link to my professional page...."

Wow. So this falls under that category of what NOT to do or say to a girl. I'm beginning to see why this guy is still single.

I haven't responded yet because, honestly, I have no idea what to say. The idea (of the mothers) was that we get together when he's in town over Thanksgiving. Ugh. Why spoil such a nice holiday with a guy who is obviously socially inept?

Besides, what if I'm seeing Big City Guy exclusively by Thanksgiving? There's a chance of this (though I'm still unsure how big of a chance), especially after our conversation last night. How do you like that teaser?!