Adulting and Friendships

I've had some meaningful conversations with my mother lately, mainly because of my father's condition.  One of those conversations revolved around friendships - making them and keeping them as an adult.  

This is especially hard for introverts.  It's even harder for a childless introvert.  It seems to be almost impossible for an intentionally childless introvert.  But it gives me hope that my mother - one of the most giving people I know - also had a hard time making and keeping friends.  And she always has.

Obviously, the easiest place to find friends is at work.  But if you change jobs a lot or are promoted within an organization, those friendships often cannot survive such circumstantial changes.  In my mom's case, we moved around a lot due to my father's job.  Then, she was the highest ranking clinical officer, meaning no friendships with subordinates.  In my case, very few friends from my old job have bothered to keep in touch.  And I've tried. 

But I'm an introvert.  Why is it always up to me to initiate contact?   I've tried to overcome this and have initiated dozens of lunches with women my age.  And none of them circle back and ask to do anything with me.  Is it because they don't like me?  I don't think so.  I think all of us are so "busy" with our "busy" lives that friendships are often optional and suffer.

Back to being intentionally childless....  Women with children think I'm strange or that I don't like kids.  They seem to take offense that I don't want kids.  Would it help if I told them I mostly likely couldn't have kids if I tried?  Sigh.  Either way, women with kids are often too busy to make friends with anyone other than parents of their kids' friends.  

I know I get "busy" (and I'm using quotations because I think most of us are really not that busy but are 100% convinced that we are, myself included) as well, but I've tried, honestly and truly, to make friends at work.  Lunches are an easy way to do this....  So why doesn't anyone reciprocate my invitation to lunch?  I think I'm interesting.  I have too many hobbies and love to travel.  

At least it gives me some comfort to know that my mother had the same problem.  And I've heard some other women (on-line) complain of this, as well. So I'm not alone.  It's too bad no one at my workplace is in the same situation.  We could be friends!