Mars/Venus

I'm halfway through Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and, though I never thought I'd be reading such a book, it's very interesting. Written by a man, there is a sort of "here's how to interrupt a man and live with him" attitude. This doesn't mean it's unhelpful but I wonder just how helpful it is for a man to read about a woman.

According to Gray, women are needy. He doesn't mean this in a bad way - at least, all the time - but he does say that women need more affection than men. I think this is true but one must always be careful with generalizations, right? There are two things in here that have really made me think, and which ring true...

-Men need and seek their caves in times of stress. They physically need to distance themselves from women and kids in order to think through their day. Unlike women, they do not want to talk about their problems, they want to ponder them in a safe environment - their cave.

-Men are like rubber bands. They get close to you but then, at the height of intimacy, intentionally pull away. They need to re-discovery their autonomy and independence. They will always come back to their mate but this is a constant trend and one that scares a woman if she doesn't know what's going on. One minute a man can't get enough of you and the next, he disappears for days.

There are fewer analogies I like for the women, perhaps because I'm slightly insulted to be called needy or a wave. Yes, woman's emotions are like waves, rising and falling in a natural rhythm. We have severe lows when we need to wallow in our misfortune. Without these lows we cannot experience the highs.

I guess I go through this, though I never really gave it much thought. Though I'm usually an even keel on the emotional front, I do get down sometimes. Perhaps Gray is correct.

However, I refuse to be called needy.